


You Win, You Lose (It's A Chance You Have To Take)

by annieapple24



Category: Bohemian Rhapsody (Movie 2018), Queen (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angstier than my usual, Chapter One is just Jimmercury smut though, Cheating, Everyone is dumb and bad at relationships, Grindr, I plan on making this angsty too, Idiots in Love, If you like that, M/M, Multi, Sex, eventual polyamory, lots of smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-16
Updated: 2019-08-29
Packaged: 2020-09-01 21:44:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,259
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20264986
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/annieapple24/pseuds/annieapple24
Summary: Modern AU in which the Queen Boys and Jim are all idiots who are just trying to figure out what love is and how it works. Sometimes it's amazing, and sometimes it's awful, but that's the chance they have to take. How many hearts will be broken before our boys finally realize they all belong together?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Finally have a start on my OT5 fic with the Queen boys and Jim! Right now it's just Jim and Freddie, since I wanted to flip the script and have Jim be the first of them all Freddie meets. But more to come, with lots of sex and probably a few tears. 
> 
> For anyone who keeps up with my work, I'm sure you've noticed it takes me awhile to post things recently. I have a feeling that will not be changing anytime soon, but I am going to work my butt off to get this done. I like having a long fic to work on. I hope you all like it!

Freddie was bored. It was still another half an hour before Adrian would be there to pick him up. He was already dressed, having picked out his outfit the moment the plans were made. His make up was already done too, since Freddie had been eager for an excuse to try out the new technique for the perfect wing tip on his eyeliner one of his favorite youtubers had recommended.

There wasn’t enough time to start watching anything. He had already finished the newest season of Queer Eye on Netflix, so there wasn't anything on his list at the moment anyway. There wasn’t enough time to do anything, really, except mindlessly scroll through various social media apps on his phone, draining his battery. He was sure to regret it later when his phone died at the club, but he couldn’t quite muster up the energy to grab his phone charger.

As it was, there was absolutely nothing happening on his twitter feed, nothing good on his Tumblr, no new posts on Instagram from anyone he actually cared about. With a sigh, he switched over to Grindr, hoping one of the guys he was talking to was online and up for some flirting. It would get him in the mood for some proper clubbing at the very least.

He scrolled through the names, the dick and ass pics, the mindless small talk that could sometimes drive Freddie mad. He put up with it because it was the easiest way to find someone to spend the night with. Freddie also admittedly loved the attention he got. He always had quite a few men telling him how sexy he was, how good he looked in his pictures. Of course all the pictures were perfect. Freddie was an artist after all.

There was one name in particular that gave Freddie a pause. It had been a few nights since they had talked, but it was a conversation unlike any Freddie had had on Grindr. Though not all men immediately jumped into asking for nudes and wondering if Freddie was “dtf” (though of course Freddie was, that’s why he was there in the first place, wasn’t it?), Jim was a bit different. 

Freddie had messaged Jim first, enjoying a very nice picture of the stranger in a club that Freddie recognized. Jim had been shirtless, a wide grin spread across his face, the lights of the club making him glow. Maybe it was a bit of romanticization in Freddie’s head, but Freddie couldn’t help but message him. 

Jim had told him right off the bat that he wasn’t into twinks like Freddie (but Freddie was an otter, thank you very much) and wasn’t looking to spend a night together. Freddie had told him he was fine with that, and that daytime sex was just as fun. Surprisingly, it had made a good icebreaker, and they had talked for almost a week straight. 

And then Freddie had ruined it by asking to meet.

Maybe Jim was shy, or maybe he really just wasn’t into Freddie. Either way, Freddie had spent days whining to his best friend until Adrian had finally gotten fed up and demanded he and Freddie go out to take Freddie’s mind off of it all. 

So here he was, wondering what the fuck to do with himself, while flagellating himself over a man he had never even met. Freddie really could be a dumbass sometimes.

Finally, after what felt like hours, Freddie got a text from Adrian saying he was parked outside. Freddie hopped up from his couch and ran outside, barely sparing a moment to lock his door before throwing himself into Adrian’s car. His friend was right, Freddie just needed to get the hell out of his apartment and have a nice fuck to get his mind off of the mysterious Jim. And Freddie was eager to do so.

The first place they went to was a bit dead that night, so they followed the advice of someone they knew and wondered over to another place that promised more hot men to dance with and plenty of booze. It was a club Freddie had never been to before, but right off the bat he saw three men in crop tops grinding on each other at the edge of the dance floor. Freddie figured he wouldn’t mind staying there awhile.

Adrian got them drinks, and Freddie sipped slowly at his while making eyes at a cute blond on the other side of the bar. 

“Already?” Adrian sighed when he noticed Freddie flirting.

“I can’t help being beautiful,” Freddie pointed out with a smile.

After awhile, and another drink, Adrian pulled him onto the dance floor. They danced together for a bit before Adrian moved on to dance with a tall man with a lip piercing and Freddie found himself sandwiched between a large man who was hairier than Freddie, and a smaller blond twink who kept smiling at the other man over Freddie’s shoulder. 

It was a nice way to pass the time, especially when the larger man began mouthing at Freddie’s neck and the smaller one stuck his tongue down Freddie’s throat. But luckily, they moved on after awhile. Freddie had a rule of never having threesomes with strangers, not after a bad experience his first year of college. So he waved the couple on and decided to have another drink at the bar. 

While he waited for the bartender to finish with someone else, Freddie glanced around into the crowd. He found the couple he had been dancing with wrapped around each other, giggling as they made their way through the crowd towards the restrooms. Freddie smirked, happy to be of help to them. He wondered if he would ever be able to find a boyfriend like that. Or, you know, a boyfriend in general.

Freddie’s drink ended up a bit watered down, which disappointed Freddie immensely as he had been enjoying the new club up to that point. Perhaps when he was rich and famous he wouldn’t have to care about overpriced drinks being watered down. But until that time, all Freddie could do was huff and swallow it down, wondering if he could find Adrian and convince him to move on to the next place. 

“The drinks are a bit shit here, aren’t they?” A thick Irish accent came from the figure hunched over the bar next to him. 

Freddie didn’t immediately recognize him when they turned to face each other. The man had a nice face, gorgeous eyes and perfectly done hair. Very attractive, exactly Freddie’s type. But then the man tipped the rest of his whiskey into his mouth, grinning widely at Freddie after swallowing.

It was the grin that did it. The exact grin that was in the picture Freddie couldn’t help but stare at for the past four days straight. Jim was standing in front of him. Freddie’s mouth dropped open in shock.

“Jim?”

Jim chuckled, pushing his glass closer to the bartender in hope of a refill. “Was wondering if you would recognize me.”

Freddie’s mind was reeling. Standing in front of him was the man Freddie had spent days thinking about. Not pining, just… thinking. The man who hadn’t wanted to meet Freddie. Who had ghosted him the moment Freddie opened his big fat mouth. Why was Jim talking to Freddie at all when he easily could have just slipped away without Freddie noticing him? How should Freddie play this? Act aloof? Be pissed at Jim for blowing him off? Seize this second chance and flirt Jim’s pants off?

“Guess we ended up meeting after all,” Jim said. Freddie noticed the way Jim was no longer looking Freddie in the eye.

“Apparently so. Perhaps it’s destiny,” Freddie said. So apparently Freddie was flirting. 

There was a moment of silence between them, where Freddie wasn’t sure what to say next and he wondered if Jim was in the same boat. The music was blaring and the people were so loud, but nothing could take Freddie’s attention off of Jim at that moment.

“Would you want to go outside? I need a smoke,” Jim said suddenly, taking Freddie by surprise. But Freddie was too curious not to follow Jim outside, winding their way around the hot and sweaty moving bodies. 

Perhaps Jim was a serial killer, and was leading Freddie outside to his doom? But surely that wasn’t the case, as Jim stopped right in front of the club, only far enough away from the people standing outside so that they wouldn’t be overheard if they talked. That at least made Freddie feel better. He was, however, still trembling with curiosity. Or was it just because Freddie was standing out in the cold with only a thin sleeveless shirt for warmth.

Jim pulled a pack of cigarettes out of his pocket, placing one in his mouth and offering the pack to Freddie. Freddie wasn’t a huge fan of smoking, had only done it a few times with friends to fit in, but was tempted to take one in case Jim judged him. Ultimately, Freddie declined and Jim shrugged as he tucked the package back into his pocket. Freddie watched in fascination as Jim brought the cigarette to his full lips, cupping the tiny flame from his lighter carefully. Hopefully he wasn’t being creepy, because there was no way Freddie could drag his eyes away from the way Jim’s mouth moved as he sucked down the smoke greedily, the way his jaw tensed and grew more defined and sharp as he smoked.

Freddie felt a bit weak in the knees.

“So why did you bring me out here, then?” Freddie asked, wrapping his arms tighter around himself as he tried to keep warm. 

Jim took another drag from his cigarette before focusing on Freddie. “I wanted to try to give you an explanation.” A hand moved to scratch at the back of his neck, running over the smooth, short hairs of Jim’s slight fade. “I didn’t like leaving you hanging, and when I saw you tonight I felt so bad I couldn’t just leave it there.”

Freddie scoffed, now wishing he had stayed inside where it was warm. Had found another partner to dance with who wouldn’t pity him. He wondered what exactly he had done that could’ve made Jim feel so bad for him. Did Freddie really seem that pathetic and desperate?

“You don’t owe me anything,” Freddie said rolling his eyes. He was tempted to just turn around and go back inside. But why wasn’t he doing so? 

“Yes, I think I do,” Jim insisted. And then was quiet again.

Neither of them spoke as Jim finished his cigarette. Freddie could feel his frustration rising, fighting with himself over whether or not to just turn back and go inside to find Adrian or someone else who could make Freddie forget Jim’s name. 

And then Jim lit another. “Oh for fuck’s sake, are you going to talk or not? It’s freezing out here!” Freddie tried not to raise his voice too loud, but he still saw some of the people outside glance over at them. Freddie pushed down the urge to flip them all off. 

“Shit, I’m sorry. You must be freezing your balls off.” And with that, Jim was shrugging out of his nice leather jacket and wrapping it around Freddie’s shoulders before Freddie could even protest.

It was like all of Freddie’s frustration evaporated at once and turned into confusion. Why in the world was Jim doing any of this?

Jim sighed loudly next to him and ran a hand through the longer hair on top off his head, effectively ruining his perfectly styled look. “I don’t exactly know how to talk to people online, Freddie. I’ve never really done it before. I was with my high school sweetheart and then I met my last boyfriend at work. So when you and I were talking, and getting along, and I really liked you, Freddie.”

“But?” Freddie prompted when Jim trailed off. He moved closer. Not quite touching Jim, but close enough Jim would know he was listening.

“I got scared,” Jim admitted unapologetically. “I liked you, but it felt so weird talking through texts and I didn’t really know anything about you. So when you asked to meet I panicked and deleted that stupid app off my phone.”

Freddie blinked. That certainly wasn’t what he had been expecting. “So you ghosted me because you liked me?”

“I...uh…” Jim shrugged helplessly. 

Freddie wrapped Jim’s jacket tighter around his body. It was so warm with Jim’s body heat and smelled absolutely amazing. Freddie tried to ignore the fact that the masculine smell sent a heat through his stomach and focused on Jim’s confession.

“What now?” Freddie asked him. Surely Jim wouldn’t drag him all the way outside and unload himself like this if he was planning to just turn back around and never speak to Freddie again.

But Jim just shrugged again to Freddie’s disappointment. “I don’t know. Like I said, you seem like a really great guy, Freddie. I just don’t know how to do this. The stupid apps. The hook ups. None of it makes any sense to me.”

Freddie bit his lip. Dare he take this any farther? He knew he could have Jim eating out of the palm of his hand if he wanted. Freddie had that effect on people when he put his mind to it. But was it worth the effort for someone like Jim, someone Freddie could accidentally hurt if he wasn’t careful?

“Would you like to learn?” Freddie asked, almost taking it back at the last minute. But he couldn’t let a man like Jim slip away so easily. Not with everything Freddie had gone through since they started talking.

Jim’s brows furrowed. “Learn?”

“About talking to people, finding your way into their bed, then maybe talking to them more if it goes well,” Freddie said, stepping closer to Jim again. This time he touched him, very lightly, on his now bare forearm. Jim’s skin was soft and warm. Freddie liked it.

Freddie watched as Jim stared at the movement of Freddie’s hand on his arm before looking back into Freddie’s eyes. He seemed a bit dazzled, somehow shocked that Freddie was flirting with him. Had he expected the confession to scare Freddie away? Or perhaps he didn’t want it and Freddie had made the wrong decision?

“I think I would like that,” Jim said, his mouth staying open just slightly as he stared at Freddie, almost enticingly.

Not one to turn down such an easy invitation, Freddie leaned forward until their lips were almost touching. He didn’t look away from Jim, didn’t move any closer, making Jim do the rest. Just in case Jim wanted to back out. 

But almost without any hesitation, Jim’s lips were on Freddie’s. It was slow at first, but Freddie wrapped his arms around Jim’s neck, feeling where the long, soft hairs faded out into the tiny fuzz at the back of his neck. Freddie couldn’t help but moan quietly when Jim answered by wrapping his strong hands around Freddie’s waist and pulling him closer.

It was a good kiss. Amazing, really. Jim knew just where to touch Freddie, when to lick into Freddie’s mouth and when to nip lightly at Freddie’s lips to make him gasp. Jim’s fingers dug in to Freddie’s hips when Freddie’s hands trailed down his neck to dip under the collar of his shirt and feel the coarse hair there. 

Freddie wanted more. So much more. He pulled away from the kiss but stayed in Jim’s arms, taking a moment to admire Jim now panting slightly, his lips pretty and a bit pink. “Any chance you would like to take this somewhere a little more private?”

“God, yes,” Jim sighed, kissing Freddie again. For someone who had supposedly never really hooked up with someone before, he was responding quite well to the process. “My place is close enough to walk.”

“Perfect,” Freddie all but growled into Jim’s lips.

The walk was longer than Freddie would have preferred, but they were able to fill the time enjoyably. There was a mix of flirting, subtle touching, and genuine conversation which kept them both interested and kept the walk from getting awkward. 

It was honestly so much easier with Jim than it had been with others in the past for Freddie. Countless boring drives to other men’s apartments where his partner was silent, or made awkward small talk. Worse, the ones who wouldn’t keep their hands off Freddie or tried to get Freddie to touch them while they drove. Jim was the perfect balance of flirty and polite. Almost like teasing Freddie. Freddie loved it.

And when they finally made it inside the apartment,there was almost no time to admire the nice little brick-walled flat before Jim was pushing him against the door and attaching their mouths together again. 

Jim’s jacket was pushed off of Freddie’s shoulders to carelessly drop onto the floor. Almost immediately, Jim’s fingers were running over the newly exposed skin over Freddie’s arms, making Freddie shiver. In return, Freddie tugged on Jim’s shirt, letting his fingers dip beneath it and roam over Jim’s stomach. It wasn’t long before Freddie got impatient and pushed Jim’s shirt up, waiting for Jim to raise his arms and ridding the man of his shirt as quickly as possible. 

“Fuck, you’re amazing,” Freddie whispered against Jim’s lips as his hands explored Jim’s chest. His words were met with a moan, and Jim moved down to start sucking marks into Freddie’s neck.

Pulling away again, just long enough to strip off his own shirt, Freddie took a second to try to breathe. He hadn’t expected this to be happening tonight. Hadn’t expected to meet Jim, let alone be taken home by him. It really was almost like destiny. At least, it certainly felt like destiny when Jim’s hands moved down to Freddie’s legs and pulled, lifting him up and getting Freddie to wrap his legs around his hips when Freddie was finished squealing in surprise.

Just the idea of Jim lifting Freddie and pinning him against the door would have had Freddie aching in his pants, but actually being pinned, having Jim’s equally hard cock pressed right against his own while Jim left a trail of hickies and bite marks down Freddie’s neck and chest? Holy fuck, Freddie must have died and went to a very interesting heaven.

Their pants were quickly becoming bothersome, but before Freddie could beg Jim to let him down and get the rest of their clothes off, Jim was pressing their mouths together and leading Freddie into one of the hottest kisses he had ever experienced. It had Freddie rutting his hips against Jim’s desperately, a silent plea for more.

Finally, Jim pulled away again. “Perhaps the bedroom would be more comfortable?” he whispered, his accent much thicker than it had been earlier. He sounded just as wrecked as Freddie felt.

“Yes, please.”

It took them some time to get to the bedroom. Jim kept pressing Freddie up against walls to steal more hot and heavy kisses, Freddie kept tugging at Jim’s trousers and until his belt and his fly were open and Freddie could see Jim’s navy blue underwear. Then, they had to pause again when they finally made it to the bedroom and Freddie had crawled his way seductively onto the bed while Jim frantically searched through his dresser for lube and condoms.

“Who keeps their lube in their dresser?” Freddie asked with a teasing smile. 

Jim shrugged. “Just seems like the best place to put it all. Aha!” He pulled out the bottle of lube and the box of condoms, bringing them over to the bed.

Freddie wiggled his hips, trying his best to look enticing. “What else have you got in there? Anything fun?”

“Maybe you’ll find out later,” Jim teased back. Then Jim pushed his trousers down and crawled onto the bed and hovering over Freddie. “Mind if I take these off for you?”

With an enthusiastic nod, Freddie raised his hips to help Jim pull off the tight trousers. But of course, Jim drew it out as much as he could, licking a line above the waistband of Freddie’s pants, finding the sensitive areas in the dips above Freddie’s hipbones and causing Freddie to moan embarrassingly loudly. 

But finally, Jim was pulling the trousers off, taking Freddie’s underwear with them. The pants were thrown to the floor, and Freddie went to pull at Jim’s shoulders to kiss him again and maybe get his hands down Jim’s underwear, but Jim didn’t move. Jim’s hands were moving softly over Freddie’s thighs, just staring at Freddie with something like awe.

“Enjoying the view?” Freddie asked, forcing himself not to get anxious. 

If Jim had noticed the slight quiver in Freddie’s voice, he hid it. “You’re beautiful, Freddie.”

Freddie would’ve reacted to that, perhaps complimenting Jim’s appearance as well, but all thoughts flew from his mind when Jim’s tongue flicked over the head of Freddie’s cock. 

“Ah, fuck.” Freddie moaned as Jim stared at him hungrily, taking the tip of Freddie’s cock into his mouth and sucking hard.

As far as blow jobs went, it was one of the best Freddie had ever had. And Freddie had received quite a few blow jobs over the years. Maybe it was the way Jim’s strong hands gripped Freddie’s hips and held him down. Or maybe it was the way Jim’s tongue moved as he swallowed Freddie deep and left Freddie utterly breathless.

“Jim,” Freddie moaned, trying to pull himself back to the surface. “I can’t wait much longer. Please.”

Jim pulled away from Freddie just long enough to whisper “don’t worry, I’ll take care of you.” Then Jim went back to his task and Freddie only barely heard the click of the lube bottle opening. 

The feeling of one of Jim’s fingers finally sliding inside Freddie could have made him sing. His fingers were much thicker than Freddie’s own, but still long enough to hit all the right places. It didn’t take long until Freddie was begging him again for more, pushing back against Jim’s hand as best he could.

A second finger was pushed inside him, working him open and making Freddie arch his back. But it wasn’t until the fingers crooked upwards and hit Freddie’s prostate that Freddie honestly almost screamed. He was so fucking close, his cock hitting the back of Jim’s throat in time with the thrusts of Jim’s fingers inside him. Freddie had no idea how he had managed to hold on for this long.

“Gonna come,” Freddie managed to say, warning Jim in case he wanted to pull away. “Fuck, gonna fucking come.”

Freddie clutched the sheets tightly as he came, happy that Jim didn’t pull away and seemed happy to swallow everything Freddie had to give. It only made everything feel even better, especially when his mouth and fingers continued working Freddie over until his legs were shaking and he was halfheartedly trying to push Jim’s face away when he got too sensitive. 

Kisses trailed over Freddie’s thighs and hips when Jim finally pulled back while Freddie could only lie there and gasp for air. “What do you want next?” Jim murmured as he moved back up Freddie’s stomach and chest, not leaving Freddie any chance to catch his breath, but Freddie was far from complaining.

“Will you fuck me?” Freddie asked without hesitation. 

“You sure that won’t be too much?” Jim said, leaving more marks on Freddie’s collarbone. 

Freddie shook his head. “No, it won’t. Please, Jim. I need you inside me.” It was unlikely Freddie would be able to come again so soon, but after all of this build up, even after an amazing orgasm, Freddie was still dying for a good fucking. And if Jim was as talented at that as he was at everything else so far, Freddie was in for a treat.

With a smile, Jim reached over to grab the box of condoms, fumbling as he tried to pull one out and rip it open. Freddie didn’t bother helping. He leaned forward just enough to leave matching bruises on Jim’s neck and chest in retaliation. It only distracted Jim more, causing him to drop the foil packet more than once and curse in frustration.

“Is this alright?” Jim asked when the condom was finally on and Freddie’s legs were wrapped around his hips. It took a second for Freddie to realize he was asking about their position.

“Yes, yes. I want to see you. Hurry up, and fuck me. Please.”

Jim chuckled at Freddie’s impatience before lining himself up with Freddie’s hole and pushing in slowly. Freddie gasped at the feeling, scratching a bit at Jim’s shoulders as he hung on tightly. Jim was big, not so much that Freddie couldn’t take him without pain, just perfect enough that Freddie could feel every inch of him filling him so perfectly. 

It was slow at first. It was clear that Jim was being gentle and not wanting to hurt Freddie. But Freddie couldn’t complain, because Jim was holding him close and kissing him softly and filling every single one of Freddie’s senses. It was beautifully overwhelming, and much more intimate than most of Freddie’s hook ups. Not that he could think about them at that moment, when Jim finally pushed all the way inside him and paused, letting Freddie get used to the feeling and running his hands softly over Freddie’s sides.

“More,” was all Freddie could whisper between kisses, going crazy with the slow pace. 

The breath shot from Freddie’s lungs when Jim snapped his hips forward. “Like that?” Jim smirked, doing it again even harder when Freddie moaned and nodded. “I told you I’d take care of you, Freddie. Let me fuck you the way you need it.”

Jim fucked him hard and fast after that, pulling one of Freddie’s legs over his arm to make the angle even better. It had Freddie moaning like crazy, biting into Jim’s shoulder only to be pulled away and redirected into a deep kiss. Freddie was already achingly hard again, and he thought if Jim could keep it up long enough, he really might come again. 

“There, fuck, there!” Freddie cried when Jim moved again and the angle changed just right for Jim’s cock to hit his prostate just right. “Oh fuck, I’m going to come again. Holy shit. Oh fuck.”

Then there was a hand around Freddie’s cock jerking him off frantically as Jim’s thrusts grew a bit erratic. “Me too. Fuck, Freddie.”

Jim came first. He cursed and buried his face into the crook of Freddie’s neck, trying his best to keep his pace and keep his hand moving on Freddie’s dick. Something about Jim losing all control was enough for Freddie. His second orgasm was even more overwhelming than the first, and he could do nothing but hold on to Jim as tightly as he could as the waves of pleasure washed over him.

They didn’t move for awhile, until Freddie’s muscles started to ache and he had to pull away from Jim to breathe. 

“Wow,” was really all Freddie could say as he relaxed back onto the bed. He turned to his side to face Jim as Jim rolled off of Freddie and onto his back. But Jim pulled Freddie still closer, wrapping his arms around Freddie’s waist and urging Freddie to sling an arm and a leg over his body for a proper cuddle. Freddie happily let himself be tugged along. 

“Very much wow,” Jim agreed, pressing a soft kiss against Freddie’s forehead.

It was so different that Freddie was used to, in so many ways. Usually Freddie stayed long enough to catch his breath before he left. If he knew the person he might stay longer, maybe for a second round or a nice shower, or even just spend the rest of the night hanging out watching Netflix. 

But cuddling? Soft kisses that made Freddie’s chest feel tight? Freddie didn’t do that. Not that he never wanted to, he just never met someone he felt like doing it with. The closest he ever got to it was when he and his friends got drunk and snuggly. The number of times he had ended up in Adrian’s arms on the couch was testament to that. But after sex? Especially after sex that had been so close and intimate? Freddie wasn’t quite sure what to do with himself.

Freddie could feel Jim’s breath evening out, the rise and fall of his chest starting to slow beneath Freddie’s cheek. He wondered if Jim was falling asleep already. Not that Freddie would judge him really, his own eyelids were starting to feel rather heavy. But certainly it would be something for Freddie to tease him for if they stayed in touch after this. 

And god did Freddie hope they stayed in touch.

“We should clean up,”Jim said quietly, his voice low and tired, but sounding quite content. 

Freddie couldn’t help but smile into Jim’s skin. “We can wait a bit longer.”

“We might fall asleep if we wait longer,” Jim chuckled. “And we’ll regret it in the morning.” 

It was only when Jim started to pull away and grab at something resting on his leg that Freddie realized the condom hadn’t been thrown away. He also felt the uncomfortable stickiness between his legs as the lube dried, the mess that had been haphazardly wiped away. But there wasn’t a single part of Freddie that wanted to move. He couldn’t remember the last time he had been so relaxed.

“We can shower together tomorrow and blame each other as we wash this shit out of our pubes,” Freddie mumbled. He couldn’t believe how relaxed he was. Was he really about to fall asleep at a stranger’s apartment? Adrian would probably kill him when he found out, but Freddie couldn’t bring himself to care.

Jim scoffed. “It will clearly be your fault. At least I made an effort,” he joked as he twisted just enough to toss the spent condom somewhere behind him, hopefully into a wastebasket or something. But then he was holding Freddie again, one thumb moving back and forth over Freddie’s shoulder in a way that had him practically purring. 

And against all odds, Freddie fell asleep, happier than he could remember being for a long time.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jim gets a bit jealous when Freddie continues to sleep with other men. It only gets worse when Freddie meets Roger, and suddenly Jim isn't the only person Freddie is with on a regular basis. Jim isn't quite sure what to do with himself when all he wants is everything he can't have.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... a spot of angst anyone? Sorry for the wait, I think I've just given up on trying to write regularly at this point. sorry, y'all. Hope it's still good and maybe even worth the wait!

Being with Freddie was unlike anything Jim had ever experienced. He wasn’t even with Freddie, not in the way Jim would define being with someone. But after that first night spent together, they kept coming back to each other for more.

They were fuck buddies, Jim supposed. Not that Freddie had ever used those words, but it seemed like the only ones that would fit to Jim. They certainly weren’t dating. They hooked up fairly often, at least once a week, usually more depending on their availability. But Jim also knew that Freddie slept with other people. It was very odd, and nothing like Jim had ever really experienced. But it was also sort of freeing in a way. Sort of.

So, Jim wouldn’t say he was thrilled about the situation. And yet he kept going back to Freddie, happily even, every time he was called.

There was just something about Freddie. Something about his infallible energy and charisma when they were out in public, mixed with the way he grew more and more comfortable with Jim every night they spent together, letting Jim see his soft and shy side. How vulnerable really could be.

It was those moments that made Jim yearn for Freddie. Not this strange set up they had found themselves in, but a proper relationship where he could dote on Freddie like a good boyfriend, be possessive and affectionate of him in public, and maybe even one day tell Freddie he loved him. But Jim was determined to keep an open mind about it, to let Freddie be happy.

Freddie was keeping his word, teaching Jim about hook up culture, or whatever it might be called.

“We could go back to mine tonight, if you like,” Jim had suggested one night at a club. They hadn’t really come together, but they had had plans to meet up there and hang out for a bit. It was something did fairly often, on the nights they would usually both be out clubbing anyway. It just made sense, if they were both going to be out and about, to meet up with each other. 

But Freddie shook his head that night. “I’m sorry, dear, I already made plans with… a friend.” Freddie’s delicate way of telling Jim he had already found someone to share a bed with that night. Jim tried to ignore the way his chest hurt.

“Oh, alright then.” But Jim made an excuse to leave soon after that, not keen on seeing said “friend” whisk Freddie away from him.

But still, there was something that kept Jim coming back to Freddie. He didn’t want to miss out on an opportunity just because it was different than he was used to. So he kept crawling into Freddie’s bed, kept inviting the man into his own. Or those times in the shower. Or in the kitchen when Jim was trying to cook. Fuck, it felt so domestic, but Jim tried not to think about that. It was just a bit of fun. With a man Jim was slowly but surely falling head over heels for.

“Jim, please. Right there. Fuck, don’t stop. Please don’t stop.” Freddie cried out one night as Jim held him down and fucked him with his fingers as hard and fast as he could manage. 

Jim grinned, slowly down a little and chuckling when Freddie whined. “And what would you do if I did?”

Then, Freddie honest to god growled at him. But he still seemed at loss for an answer, too distracted by desperately trying to push himself down on Jim’s fingers. “I’ll… If you stop I’ll never let you wear my sweatpants again.”

Despite the fact that Jim hadn’t actually been planning to stop, his fingers froze in shock when the words tumbled from Freddie’s lips. He hadn’t been expecting anything like that. “No more blow jobs” perhaps. But the pair of sweatpants he ended up wearing almost every time he stayed over at Freddie’s flat, too big and very soft with the name of Freddie’s college spilling down the side, Jim had not expected those to be on the table. His eyes glanced down to where those very sweatpants were lying in a heap on the floor.

Goddammit.

Jim pushed down the confusing emotions spiralling in his chest and started moving his fingers again, leaning down to suck a large, dark mark into Freddie’s chest as he moved his fingers impossibly faster. 

“Fuck!”

At least the blow job he got from Freddie afterwards almost made up for the fucking heart attack Freddie’s words had given him.

But then after that, things kept happening. Freddie started bringing him lunch at work every so often. He would march into the salon like he owned the place, greet the other stylists like they were old friends. If Jim was working with someone, he would wait patiently and find someone to chat up. Otherwise, he would plop down in Jim’s chair and throw whatever sandwich he had gotten Jim into his face. 

It made for nice lunches, but it only confused Jim more. And every single time it happened, it led to questions from his coworkers that Jim just didn’t know how to answer.

Because Freddie was still sleeping with other people. Because he introduced Jim as “his friend” when they ran into people Freddie knew. Because Jim’s heart ached every time he saw Freddie, angelic and ethereal, dancing with some stranger at the club. 

Things only got worse when Freddie decided to throw a party at his flat.

That was another thing unfamiliar to Jim. Of course he had had small parties with friends in their dorms or flats during school, but nothing to this extent. The flat was filled with people, most of whom Jim found out Freddie didn’t even know. Friends of friends of friends. And Freddie happily went around greeting them all, keeping the alcohol he couldn’t afford flowing for all of them. 

It meant that Jim didn’t get a lot of time with Freddie. He tried, but Freddie kept blowing him off, claiming his guests needed his attention. It was nice that Freddie wanted to be a good host, but Jim didn’t know a single other person there.

“Mingle, darling! Meet some new people to talk to! That’s what you’re supposed to do at parties!”

Jim rolled his eyes. “Oh, really? I thought parties were for getting drunk off your ass and trashing the host’s house.”

Freddie pouted a bit at Jim’s negativity, but Jim didn’t let himself care. Instead, he snatched up a free spot on the couch while he could, sitting carefully to avoid touching the person slouching on the middle cushion, and taking a long swig of some disgusting lite beer someone had brought and dumped in the kitchen.

Why did people come to these things? There were a group of people playing some sort of game with an empty beer bottle, throwing it back and forth and just asking for someone to get hurt. There were a few couples making out scattered around the room, and one set of three people taking turns examining each others tonsils with their tongues. And, of course, the ones sharing the booze and drugs liberally, sniffing some white powdery substance off of one of Freddie’s fashion magazines, smoking something that smelled awful, pouring vodka in each other’s mouths and trying not to choke.

“You look a bit bored.” 

The voice startled Jim from his thoughts. He turned to see a pretty-looking man perched on the arm of the couch, politely keeping his leg from touching Jim’s, but still leaning into Jim’s space to show his interest.

Jim shrugged. There just wasn’t anything happening so far that appealed to him. 

“Maybe we could change that,” the man smiled. “I’m Will.”

Jim squinted, trying to figure out if the man was flirting or not. “Jim,” he murmured.

“Alright if I sit here, then?”

Time passed. Eventually, the person who had been sitting next to Jim on the couch got up so Will had quickly snatched it up, this time letting his leg press fully against Jim’s. It was really just small talk, though, that they shared because Jim’s attention kept being stolen by Freddie. 

Freddie, who had told Jim he needed to entertain his guests, who had been flitting from person to person since the party had started, had been talking to the same person for almost half an hour. A blond man, admittedly very good looking. If the jealousy hadn’t been pulsing through Jim’s veins quite so strongly, Jim really wouldn’t have even blamed Freddie. His blond hair, long enough to hang down to frame his face and fall into his eyes, only made his blue eyes pop and made the angles of his face seem soft yet enticing.

“Do you want to smoke?” Will asked suddenly. Jim looked away from Freddie and the blond to see Will pulling out a little bag of what Jim assumed was pot out of his pocket. 

Jim had never smoked pot before. If he hadn’t had so much to drink, taking an angry slug every time he saw Freddie brush a hand up the blond’s thigh or the two of them bursting into giggles after Freddie whispered something slyly into the blond’s ear, Jim would’ve realized he had no desire to get high for the first time surrounded by strangers. But one more look at the blond draping one of his legs over Freddie’s lap and placing a kiss on his lips before giggling again, had Jim’s decision made.

“Sure,” Jim’s said, letting his Irish accent roll out a bit thicker the way he knew some men liked. He also let his hand move to the mands knee. Jim wondered if Freddie would look over anytime soon. 

“Hmmm… do you have a Grindr?” the man asked, confusing Jim. They were already talking, why did it matter if Jim had that stupid app or not?

Jim bit his lip and shrugged, hoping it looked natural or at least appealing. “I, um, deleted it awhile back.”

Will’s brows crinkled in confusion. “What?”

“What?”

“I asked if you had a grinder,” Will said again, gesturing to the bag of pot in his hand. 

Jim had no idea what he was talking about, though it was pretty obvious Jim had gotten something wrong. Will wasn’t talking about that fucking app, and Jim was too stupid to know what he was referring to. He was an absolute idiot, that much was clear. He couldn’t flirt properly, couldn’t smoke properly. Obviously, Jim couldn’t do anything right. He was too stupid, and what was the point in even trying. 

Across the room, movement drew Jim’s eye again as Freddie pulled the blond to his feet, the both of them still giggling away, and dragging him towards the back of the flat where Jim knew Freddie’s bedroom was. The blond was kissing Freddie’s neck, one hand pulling down Freddie’s shirt enough to scratch at the skin and Freddie didn’t stop him. He only smiled brightly and captured the blond’s lips for a moment before hurrying their journey towards the bedroom.

Jim blinked back the tears forming in his eyes, forcing himself to look away. “I’m sorry, I have to go.”

“What? Go where?” Will asked, confused.

But Jim couldn’t even spare him a glance, already on his feet and shouldering his way through the crowd to the front door. 

Jim wondered as he left if Freddie would let the blond borrow his sweatpants when they were finished fucking.

…

The horrible feelings in Jim’s chest didn’t go away after that. 

The blond kept popping up wherever Jim looked. He started coming to the club, popping in on those moments that were supposed to be just Jim and Freddie. He was invited to Freddie’s flat, invited to more parties, even invited out to little dinners when Freddie felt the urge to spend too much money.

Jim learned that his name was Roger. He was a Biology student, younger than Freddie or Jim. Roger played drums, loved all the same bands as Freddie, old rock bands Jim never really listened to. It was like they talked nonstop when they were together, conversations about things Jim barely knew anything about. Roger was polite, at least made an effort to include Jim when they were all together, but Jim felt left behind in the dust. 

“You wanna come over tonight, Freddie? I found some of that ale you like at the store. We could grab some of that chocolate mousse and see what it tastes like licking it off each other.” It wasn’t really something Jim would normally feel comfortable saying over the phone, but it was possible he was feeling a tiny bit on the desperate side. 

He could practically hear Freddie’s grin through the phone. “That sounds wonderful Jim, but I’m sorry I already invited Roger over tonight. He found a copy of that Hendrix album we were talking about the other day. I have no idea how he did it, that man is magic. I can’t wait to listen to it on it’s original vinyl.” There was a pause and Freddie added as an afterthought, “you are welcome to join us, darling. We could still drink that ale.”

Trying to keep his voice as even as he could, Jim turned Freddie down. “That’s alright. You two have fun.”

It seemed a bit ridiculous. There was no point in Jim getting jealous or possessive. Freddie had been sleeping with other people the whole time Jim knew him. Sure, he hadn’t exactly been thrilled about it, but he had never felt this awful over it. 

Roger kept coming back. And the worst part is, he was so nice. He always smiled at Jim, even when Jim was grumpy, or couldn’t hold back snarky comments at the blond’s expense. He even managed to drag Jim into a conversation about what music Jim did listen to, about what Jim liked to wear, about his job as a hair stylist and his time in school. Roger was genuinely interested in Jim as a person, and was one of the kindest people Jim had ever met. He was impossible to hate, no matter how much Jim wanted to.

But somewhere inside of him, the bad feelings were bottling up, filling to the brim and ready to explode. Jim could feel it every time Freddie’s hand lingered on Roger’s bare skin, could feel it every time he got Freddie back into his bed only to find marks scattered on his body, knowing it was Roger who left them. 

Jim wondered if he was overthinking it a bit. They were young, Freddie was allowed to have his fun. They weren’t even dating. Jim knew that. A fact he thought about the whole way over to Freddie’s flat that night, a night they had planned for a week ago since they had both been busy and hadn’t gotten a chance to see each other for too long. 

The door had been unlocked, something Freddie liked to do when he knew Jim was coming over and was too lazy to answer the door or was lying in his own bed already, naked and waiting for Jim. He thought perhaps it might be the latter when he opened the door and saw no Freddie sprawled out on the couch watching Netflix on his laptop, or bent over the coffee table drawing away in his sketch book.

There were noises coming from the bedroom, and Jim figured Freddie might’ve gotten started without him. It wouldn’t have been the first time, and hopefully would mean he was already all opened up and ready for Jim to just slide right inside him. They had done that before and Jim had been so overwhelmed by the immediate intensity of it that he had come, shaking, inside Freddie not five minutes in. 

Jim’s brain didn’t quite register that there were muted noises coming from two people until it was already too late. He was already in the process of shrugging off his jacket to drop it on the floor and poking his head in through the half-open door when he realized what the noises were. 

Freddie was not alone in his bed. He was on his hands and knees over Roger’s body, Roger’s cock buried in his throat. His legs were on either side of Roger’s torso, bent over at the perfect angle for Roger to bury his face between his legs.

A rush of heat shot through Jim’s entire body. His cock was stirring, his fingers were tingling, his mouth was dry and aching like he wanted to touch and kiss and suck anything within reach. But at the same time, there was horror, nausea, feelings of shame and betrayal and longing and anger all mixing into a monster in Jim’s chest. 

For better or worse, it was the perfect view. Jim could feel his cock throb when he noticed the way Roger’s little pink tongue worked in and out of Freddie’s hole at a rapid pace, the way Roger’s thin but strong fingers squeezed at Freddie’s ass as he ate him out. Freddie was moaning around Roger’s dick, giving what Jim knew from experience to be the best blow job in the world, using his tongue perfectly and ignoring any need for oxygen a normal human might have felt. 

Jim should leave. He shouldn’t stare at the way Freddie’s lithe body fits so well over Roger’s small frame, the way Freddie’s chest is heaving whenever he finally pulls off of Roger to breathe, or the fact that they were both irresistibly beautiful together. Jim had already known how gorgeous Freddie was, but Roger and his angelic beauty was quite a sight to behold naked. 

“Jim! I’m so sorry, dear. I forgot we had plans tonight!” Jim notices a bit distractedly as Freddie’s hand smooths down Roger’s leg and Roger pulls away to look at Jim steadily. Neither of them bother to try covering their bodies. Completely unashamed, or they just both knew they had nothing to hide. “Would you like to join us?”

It would have been tempting, all that smooth skin, Roger’s little pink tongue and Freddie’s clever fingers. But Jim was certain that if he stayed another moment, he would either vomit on Freddie’s ugly blue carpet or he would start throwing fists until he connected with something solid and breakable.

He spun around on his heel and fled, barely remembering to pull his coat back on over his shoulders as the chilly night air hit him. 

Not wanting to go home, not knowing where else to go, Jim wandered around the city. It was probably a stupid idea, considering the late hour and the chill in the air, but Jim couldn’t stop. He walked until his brain was numb, until the vibrating of his phone in his pocket stopped. Maybe the battery died, maybe whoever was calling had finally given up.

When he finally dragged himself back to his flat, he pulled off his coat and shoes and collapsed into bed. Despite his exhaustion from walking around for hours, it was still a long time before Jim was able to fall asleep. 

It was a restless sleep, filled with images of bare skin and feelings of heat, waking Jim multiple times with needles in in stomach and the urge to vomit. It was overreacting, he knew, but he couldn’t stop it. He could only roll over and clutch a pillow against his stomach as he tried to fall back asleep. 

Hours later, he managed to plug his phone in and turn it on just long enough to call in to work and tell Barbara he wouldn’t be making it in for his shift, and to take his appointments. Jim ignored his notifications, pretending he didn’t see Freddie’s name next to an absurd number of missed calls and texts.

That was about when the knocking started.

Jim tried to ignore it, but the hammering on the wood door wouldn’t stop. Even from his bedroom he could hear the frantic wiggling of the handle, as if someone was trying to break in. Finally, with a huff and a pathetic groan, Jim heaved himself out of bed to answer the door.

“Jim! Why haven’t you been answering my calls? I’ve been trying to get ahold of you all night. What is wrong?” Freddie was shouting before Jim had pulled the door open all the way. 

The annoyance in Jim only rose at Freddie’s words. “Maybe you should’ve taken the hint, then.”

“I was worried about you, you fucking asshole!”

Admittedly, Freddie did look a little worse for the wear, as if he had been up all night. With a glance at the clock, Jim realized it was already 8am, much earlier than he had ever seen Freddie awake. His hair wasn’t brushed properly, his clothes were a mess. Jim wondered if he should feel bad for ignoring Freddie.

“Are you at least going to invite me in?” Freddie asked in a mocking voice.

Jim scoffed, but still moved enough so that Freddie could walk past him into the flat. “So, what do you want? You can see I’m alive. I’m fine.”

“Are you?” Freddie threw over his shoulder as he walked over to Jim’s couch and flopped over onto it. The question left Jim’s mouth hanging open a bit.

Instead of answering, Jim just moved to sit on the armrest of the couch, as far from Freddie as he could. “What do you want?” Jim repeated, letting a bit of venom slip into his voice.

Freddie shook his head. But when he looked back at Jim, Freddie’s eyes were wide and sad, looking at Jim like a sad, lost puppy. “You ran out like you had just watched me punch your grandmother in the face. Why? It’s not as if you’ve never seen two men fuck before. So what was it?”

“Why does it even matter?” Jim asked, already wanting the conversation to be over.

“It matters because you’re my friend, and I don’t like it when you’re hurt, especially if I’m the one who hurt you. I don’t know what I did, but if I did something I need to know so I can fix it,” Freddie insisted. 

It wasn’t what Jim wanted to hear. He didn’t want to have to explain this to Freddie. That Jim was having a breakdown just because Freddie was giving another guy attention. Like Jim was a dog crying for Freddie’s pets and throwing a fit when Freddie didn’t pet him enough. It was absolutely pathetic. “It doesn’t matter, Freddie.”

Freddie sighed and shifted closer to Jim. “Yes, it does. Is it Roger, then? You don’t like him? Or… is it me?”

The way Freddie’s voice shrank a little, like Freddie was trying to fight it but couldn’t quite hide his insecurity. Jim quickly shook his head.

“It isn’t you, Freddie,” Jim tried to reassure him, despite the way the conversation was already causing the sticky feeling of dread to pool in his stomach. “And… it isn’t Roger either. It’s just me.”

It only seemed to upset Freddie more. “But what is it? You ran out of there. You’ve been ignoring me. And if history is repeating itself, then you’re ghosting me because you are scared of something. So what the hell is going on, Jim?”

“I’m jealous, okay!” Jim all but screamed it, the tone and weight of Freddie’s words hitting him painfully until he accidentally burst, no longer able to contain the pain that had been building and building for weeks. “I’m fucking jealous that you’ve been spending so much time with Roger, and you haven’t been spending as much time with me. I’m jealous, because up until you met him, I was the only one you came back to. You could go out and fuck anyone you wanted, but you always came back to me and only me!”

Freddie’s eyes were wide, and his mouth was open slightly, but he made no attempt to talk over Jim. He just sat back and let Jim yell at him.

“I wasn’t happy about it. But sometimes… fuck, Freddie, sometimes it was so goddamn easy to pretend that it was just you and me. That you were mine. Every fucking morning I woke up with you in my arms and made you tea and... god fucking dammit, did any of it even mean anything to you?”

Jim was panting slightly. At some point in his tirade he had stood and was now glowering down at Freddie, who looked at him in confusion. Freddie looked as close to crying as Jim felt.

A noise fell from Freddie’s lips, something between a sob and a scoff. “How could you ask me that? Of course it meant something to me. It meant everything to me. Do you know how many people have done the things you have for me before? None. I’ve never had a man bring me breakfast in bed. I’ve never had a man hold me like you do when we fall asleep together, never had a man make love to me so sweetly and softly that I ache from the inside out. How dare you ask me if it meant anything to me?”

There were tears on Freddie’s cheeks now. Jim thought about wiping them away, but he couldn’t move. Couldn’t breathe. “Then why?”

“Why what, Jim?” Freddie echoed, rubbing his hands over his own face for a moment to clear it of tears before settling with a hand over his mouth, avoiding Jim’s eyes.

“Why are you with him? Why aren’t we together? Why,” Jim had to pause for a second when his voice broke, “aren’t you mine?”

Shaking his head, Freddie laughed humorlessly. “I could ask you the same.”

Jim really didn’t have a response to that.

“And I’m not dating Roger, you idiot,” Freddie pointed out, still scrubbing at his face, making his eyes and cheeks even more splotchy. “We are friends. I’ve never had a friend like him before. And… I don’t want to stop being his friend.”

It took Jim a long moment to realize what Freddie was really saying. He wasn’t going to stop being friends with Roger just because Jim wanted it. Except, that’s not what Jim wanted at all, now that he thought about it.

“I wouldn’t ask you to do that.”

Still, Freddie shook his head. “Then what do you want, Jim? I’m still at a loss.”

This was it. Jim had to do it now, or he never would. They would never get a chance like this again. Even if Freddie didn’t want it, Jim needed to put his heart on the line now, or he would never stop feeling like shit.

With a deep breath, Jim moved to sit next to Freddie on the couch, happy when Freddie didn’t move away. He didn’t dare put a hand on Freddie’s leg like his body ached to. “I want to date you. I want to be with you.”

Freddie inhaled sharply, like he hadn’t been expecting Jim to say that. Which didn’t really make sense, because Jim thought he had been painfully obvious from the start. “You want to date me?”

“Fuck, of course I do, Freddie. Who wouldn’t? I just… I didn’t think it was something you wanted, so I never said anything,” Jim admitted.

Freddie bit his lip. “I’ve never had a boyfriend before.”

Maybe that was it. Just like Jim had never really gotten the chance to sleep around with many people the way Freddie did, Freddie never really had a chance to date like Jim. “I just… I hate it, Freddie. I hate the way I feel when I see you going home with those random blokes. And it was only worse with Roger. Because it was so much harder to pretend anything could ever happen between us when you started sleeping with him too.” It was like Jim wasn’t special anymore, but Jim couldn’t say that without sounding awful.

“I guess I don’t… I dont have to sleep with other people…” Freddie said quietly. He sounded nervous again. “I don’t know what it would be like. Maybe it would work?”

“Freddie, are you saying you want to try dating?” Jim asked hesitantly. Freddie looked so unsure of himself, so vulnerable in a way Jim hadn’t seen him before.

Freddie shrugged, but then nodded slowly. “I don’t want to hurt you, Jim. But I really don’t want to lose you. You’re so special to me, in a way no one else has ever been or will ever be, I know it. I couldn’t bear it if I lost you over this.”

That was a bit much, Jim thought. “You wouldn’t lose me, Freddie. I just…” he trailed off, not sure how to finish.

“You just fuck off without a word in a blind rage of jealousy,” Freddie said with a soft smile. 

It was sad, and unfortunately true, but Freddie had a way of making Jim smile. And the absurdity of the situation made the smile turn into laughter, until Freddie was laughing at him and they were both bent over each other, holding each others arms for support as they shook.

The discomfort seemed to melt away. And though when they finally calmed and looked at each other again, it still seemed like Freddie was still nervous and unsure, Jim chalked it up to Freddie never having dated before. It was nerve wracking, Jim remembered.

“Well then, let’s make it official. Freddie, will you be my boyfriend?” Jim asked, taking Freddie’s hands and squeezing them gently. He could feel his heart fluttering in his throat, could feel the weakness of his limbs from the flurries of emotion and the lack of sleep, waiting for Freddie’s answer.

Instead of speaking, Freddie nodded his head softly, smiling and tilting his head up to look at Jim. Jim took it as a sign to kiss him, and Freddie kissed him back readily, as if they had been doing it all their lives and it was instinct at this point. And suddenly, Jim’s entire body was aching for Freddie, like he had gone for too long without him and was desperate to make up for lost time.

Freddie seemed to have the same idea, pushing himself forward to crawl into Jim’s lap and wrap himself around him like he belonged there. Maybe he did.

Eventually, Jim stood, still holding Freddie in his arms, and stumbled their way into the bedroom, stripping off their clothes along the way. There was something joyous in the way that they touched each other. Something soft and reverent. 

But if there was also a feeling of anxiety and unsureness in Freddie’s touches, if it seemed like Freddie never quite came all the way out of his head that morning, Jim found a way to ignore it. He was too happy knowing that Freddie was finally his.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor idiots. I wonder why Freddie doesn't seem quite as on board with the whole dating thing as Jim is....

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know what you think! Roger for sure is going to show up next chapter, and maybe Bri too! And I think the next chapter will be in Jim's POV, so that will be fun!


End file.
